Traffic Lights

If they asked me what I do not enjoy about living in Sydney, I kid you not one of the first things that would come to mind is 'crossing the road'. I am not sure how this all came to be, but it feels to me that traffic lights in Sydney have been designed to play with your mind and turn pedestrians into lunatic freaks. I have slowly become one of them. And here is why.

Firstly, it takes about the time that it took for the Ice Age to melt away for the sign to turn green in some roads. Crossing places like William Street, Oxford Street, or some specific parts of George Street in the CBD might well mean that your commute is increased by 10 minutes. The people that trail these paths often learn this very quickly, so it is not unusual to see people running like crazy in their suits or heels not to miss the chance to cross some of these roads. This is not an exaggeration:  at 8am Sydney is a city of people running to cross the road before the light goes red! If they don't is because either they are tourist or the road they are trying to cross is an 'easy one'.

If you add to this one of the most significant legacies of the massive Italian immigration waves to Australia in the 50s-70s i.e. bad driving and speeding at people crossing the road, you can see how  things can go mental. This lethal cocktail means that near misses are part of the daily commuting experience.

Secondly, the light does not turn green unless someone pushes the button. It is an unspoken contract that the pedestrian closest to the light should take care of this ever so important task. Failure to do so might result in another geological wait at the crossing. Most of the times people know this and they do press that damn thing - a few times for good measure. But if they don't, oh boy, you see rage washing over people's faces. Even the yummy mummy might go insane. When this happens, people make their way to the light and start pushing like there is not tomorrow, as loud as they can, possibly making eye contact with the impostor. Sometimes I fear they might push the lazy fellow commute under the bus to teach them a lesson (not that I ever felt that way...).

I could write a book on the typologies of people that do not push. Luckily studies have shown that only 1 in 250 people belong to this category. It is a serious sociological phenomenon. But let me say one thing: you know who you are non pushers! So do we. There is so much forgiving one can manage on Monday morning under the rain, especially is one is crap at umbrella management (i.e. that skill of buying, keeping, not losing and remembering to take an umbrella when it is raining outside).

Thirdly, in numerous cases there is a massive lag between the pedestrian light going red and the corresponding traffic light going green. I am not talking two seconds. I am talking thirty. The worst offender in my experience is the crossing William/Palmer. As soon as the pedestrian light goes green it starts flashing red. If you do not know any better you would not believe that you still have three minutes to cross. And if you do not know this, you have about 5 minutes to wait before you can cross again. Come on guys, get your alignment right!! Most Sydneysiders have learnt that crossing the road is an art where you need to take into account both pedestrian and traffic lights, and then  make a judgement call on whether any Italian descendant will try to run you over in between.

Finally, there are the anomalies. These are the pedestrian lights that do not follow any rule. My favourite is Pitt and King in the CBD, where the light goes red, green then within a second red and then green again. I have given up understanding why - and I am not complaining: that is an easy road to cross.