My trip to London/Italy/Singapore has come to an end, and I am about to jump on a plane back to Sydney. I am feeling as I hoped I would feel: excited about going home, after what have been an incredible and fantastic 4 weeks. London was a lot of fun. Meeting everyone again, Laura and Baz's wedding in York, a couple of big nights out at Brewers, a flat date at the Sanderson's, a lunch in Regent's Park, a bad rendition of Bad Romance at a Karaoke Bar, too much pasta in a basement trattoria, a Cheeky Tuesday, a toasted sandwich at Starbucks, a jet lagged drink by a rooftop pool, rude waitresses at Paul's, a trip on the 607 (Express), a few day long sessions at the pub or just hanging in the flat of dreams (the place where I spent my last 3 and half years in London) have been just amazing. I haven't eaten and drunk so much in such a long time!
Going back has reinforced my love for London, for the city, but most of all the people that mean so much to us there. It all felt so comfortable, natural, like I did not dare to hope it would.
At the same time it's like being back closed a circle. It was always going to be the validation on whether the move to Sydney had been the right thing to do, and I would lie if I said knowing this did not make me nervous. I knew I would love being back, as I did, but I also wondered whether part of me would have felt like there was more for me to do in London before moving on. Now that would have been troublesome.
I felt very happy in discovering that London feels to me like family: a place I love and I will go back to, but that I do not need to be around all the time.
As for the people, I just realised what I already knew: it doesn't matter where you are or how often you see each other, good friends will always be good friends. Good friends always meet and recognise each other.
The truth is that one is never really ready to leave London. One takes the plunge hoping it was indeed the right time. It is easy to get it wrong.
The other day I was thinking of when I came back to London after a year travelling, in 2007. I went back to no job and hardly any money and certainties. The same day I arrived I went to a BBQ at my friends Emma and Damon's. Over a roasting leg of lamb Damon had provocatively asked me: 'so why are you back?'. My answer was "I haven't done with London yet". I was right: I had not. Now I feel I have.
So here I am, waiting for my 20:10 to Sydney, looking forward to seeing Patata and feeling like now I am fully ready for my life Down Under.
Friday, 30 September 2011
Friday, 2 September 2011
Returning
I am writing these first lines from the airport in Sydney. Destination London, via Singapore. The day: 2nd September 2011, about 1pm.
Over the last few days the excitement of our upcoming trip has gained momentum, manifesting itself in a myriad of emotions, ranging from stress (to get everything done at work etc before leaving), excitement to see all the people and the places that we love so much, apprehension (for not knowing how we will feel about being back), delight at the thought of all the fun things that we have planned, a twinge of fear (of not feeling 'at home' in a city that was very much our home for a long time) and just pure plain holiday happiness.
I have always believed that London is a city that forgets, and now I am about to see how it has forgotten me.
It feels like the right time to go back. Building a new life in Sydney was not a walk in the park, and I would be laying if I said that the beginning wasn't tough. Starting again felt like a mammoth task, and we just missed our friends, our city. At the beginning it just felt like I could not be arsed.
However, in many ways that was a process that we had to go through. In many ways now Sydney feels like London did back in the early 00's: new, puzzling, full of possibilities, exciting and just right for the stage we are in our lives.
I recall very clearly that it took me 3 years to feel part of London. I remember a day when I was walking down Glocester Road towards Hyde Park and I suddenly thought that I felt like I knew this city, like it had let me into her secret. It was like an epiphany.I was walking by a little church on Gloucester Rd that will always remind me of that moment, the spring breeze on my face, the brightness of an early summer sun, the traffic noise almost disappearing for a microsecond. It was one of the most important instants of my life, that specific instant, because that feeling of 'belonging' served as the basis to defining myself over the coming years.
In moments that I did not know where to go, or when I felt lost, in the many moments I would doubt myself, I still felt London protecting me, accepting me for my flows and insecurities. I felt like I knew the rules of the game and I could play pretty well.
I am no fool and I know that that feeling towards Sydney is yet to fully manifest itself. In many ways, after 8 months, we have just began. God knows I can hardly pronounce many of the suburbs' names.
However, if I look back at the Piero and David that landed here last December and the people we are now, and our lives, the difference is astounding, We have definitely embarked on a life's great adventure, started a new story that we are excited about and want to see through. We have been given the gift of reinvention and discovery. Personally I feel like I have also started a process of 'consolidation'. By this I mean that I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin, and calm inside.
I have recently stopped to think how fortunate our generation is, for (compared to many of our parents) we can lead completely inorganic lives. Rather than being born and organically grow within the same environment/conditions, we have been able to start new chapters, new destinies, in our case on the opposite sides of the world. And what is life as a great exercise of exploration (both internal and external), of challenging ourselves on what we can be, what we can become.
So yes, it feels like the right time to go back to London. To go back and discover how London has forgotten me.
Over the last few days the excitement of our upcoming trip has gained momentum, manifesting itself in a myriad of emotions, ranging from stress (to get everything done at work etc before leaving), excitement to see all the people and the places that we love so much, apprehension (for not knowing how we will feel about being back), delight at the thought of all the fun things that we have planned, a twinge of fear (of not feeling 'at home' in a city that was very much our home for a long time) and just pure plain holiday happiness.
I have always believed that London is a city that forgets, and now I am about to see how it has forgotten me.
It feels like the right time to go back. Building a new life in Sydney was not a walk in the park, and I would be laying if I said that the beginning wasn't tough. Starting again felt like a mammoth task, and we just missed our friends, our city. At the beginning it just felt like I could not be arsed.
However, in many ways that was a process that we had to go through. In many ways now Sydney feels like London did back in the early 00's: new, puzzling, full of possibilities, exciting and just right for the stage we are in our lives.
I recall very clearly that it took me 3 years to feel part of London. I remember a day when I was walking down Glocester Road towards Hyde Park and I suddenly thought that I felt like I knew this city, like it had let me into her secret. It was like an epiphany.I was walking by a little church on Gloucester Rd that will always remind me of that moment, the spring breeze on my face, the brightness of an early summer sun, the traffic noise almost disappearing for a microsecond. It was one of the most important instants of my life, that specific instant, because that feeling of 'belonging' served as the basis to defining myself over the coming years.
In moments that I did not know where to go, or when I felt lost, in the many moments I would doubt myself, I still felt London protecting me, accepting me for my flows and insecurities. I felt like I knew the rules of the game and I could play pretty well.
I am no fool and I know that that feeling towards Sydney is yet to fully manifest itself. In many ways, after 8 months, we have just began. God knows I can hardly pronounce many of the suburbs' names.
However, if I look back at the Piero and David that landed here last December and the people we are now, and our lives, the difference is astounding, We have definitely embarked on a life's great adventure, started a new story that we are excited about and want to see through. We have been given the gift of reinvention and discovery. Personally I feel like I have also started a process of 'consolidation'. By this I mean that I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin, and calm inside.
I have recently stopped to think how fortunate our generation is, for (compared to many of our parents) we can lead completely inorganic lives. Rather than being born and organically grow within the same environment/conditions, we have been able to start new chapters, new destinies, in our case on the opposite sides of the world. And what is life as a great exercise of exploration (both internal and external), of challenging ourselves on what we can be, what we can become.
So yes, it feels like the right time to go back to London. To go back and discover how London has forgotten me.
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